so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
