Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So apparently I’m into choking now
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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