im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
