That's when you crack a 10am beer
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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