I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
