So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
