she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
