why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
