i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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