My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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