And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
