I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
