He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
