ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
