he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
