I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
