i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
