oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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