so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
