No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
