She announced her abortion via fbk
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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