there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
