I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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