the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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