Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
