I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
