On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
