I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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