We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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