Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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