Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
