so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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