therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
