Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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