his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
