How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
