two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
