I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
