My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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