And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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