so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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