Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
