are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
