despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
