I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
