Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You were trust falling into bushes
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
