His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
