SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
