dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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