i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
