Cold hands, warm shart.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
