You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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